Conflict sparks innovation: Debunking leadership myths

Leadership tropes and memes are everywhere these days. Unfortunately, they often do more harm than good. Recently, I came across yet another LinkedIn post talking about "old leadership myths" and "new leadership truths."

These myths tend to get me all riled up, so I kind of enjoy taking them apart piece by piece. Which is what this article will be all about, so buckle up! I will do a quick dive into conflict avoidance and conflict resolution, as well as talk about conversational debt, a notion that is plaguing many leadership teams in organizations I work with every day.

Let's get into the leadership myth

While the intention might have been good with this trope, the execution left much to be desired. One phrase, in particular, stood out to me:

Old Myth: "Avoid conflict at all costs"
New Truth: "Conflict sparks innovation"

At first glance, this sounds like progress. Needless to say, avoiding conflict at all costs is a sure way to get your team to eventually implode. But the real issue is not just the old myth. It is that the new truth completely misses why people avoid conflict in the first place.

The real reason teams avoid conflict

Let’s be honest. Most teams avoid conflict not because they swore allegiance to a weird old saying, but because:

• They never learned how to play nice in the sandbox.
• They associate conflict with a scary thing involving lots of shouting.
• They have never learned to practice real communication.

So now, if you are suddenly flipping the script to say, “Conflict sparks innovation,” without addressing any of these root issues, what do you think will happen? It will not magically fix everything.

They will not suddenly have healthy debates. That would be like telling someone who is afraid of water to jump into the deep end because swimming creates Olympic athletes! That is just not how it works.

Learning to have productive conflict

Innovation does not come from just having conflict — it comes from productive conflict. That is a key distinction. The real work nobody wants to talk about is that teams need to address their fundamental issues before ANY kind of productive conflict can happen.

You see, productive conflict happens when:

• Teams practice having difficult conversations.
• Team members built their trust towards one another over time.
• People learn how to disagree and challenge ideas respectfully.
• People have allowed their egos to be put into the back seat.

So instead of saying that "Conflict sparks innovation", what we really should be saying is: Productive conflict sparks innovation!

What productive conflict requires of your team

The thing is, not every team can have productive conflict at the drop of a hat. Because sharing and debating in a real way requires your team to feel safe. It requires your team to have built a certain level of trust. They have to know they can be honest with each other without facing consequences.

This is actually a lot more than your team just working together. It is about your people actually choosing together to be a team. It means they also start to choose how they want to interact with one another.

As a leader, to build a team that can have conflict, create a safe space where everyone can speak. That means your team respects each other's opinions, compromises and builds on others' ideas. To truly collaborate, they need to let go of personal preferences, help resolve misunderstandings and have difficult conversations in a healthy way.

All this requires the courage to be vulnerable, asking for help when needed and being patient and supportive when things go wrong. Your team needs to practice and develop these soft skills, and they need to be able to support each other throughout the process.

This is part of what I teach my clients every day with my approach of co-creative leadership. To learn more, check out my in-depth blog article on co-creative leadership.

Let me give you a real-life example

I remember working with a leadership team at an annual retreat.

As soon as I walked in, I could sense this team had a lot of unsaid issues and unresolved conflict brewing. I did not push an agenda. I just created a space where real conversations could happen. Together, we built ground rules that encouraged honesty, vulnerability, and trust.

Then, something incredible happened:

• The first person shared something deeply personal.
• Others followed, revealing their fears, hopes, and struggles.
• The team began addressing years of conversational debt — the things they had left unsaid that were creating all these tensions they were avoiding.

Over three days, they had some of the richest, most productive conversations. They left the retreat as a stronger and more connected team. More importantly, they kept applying what they learned long after the retreat ended.

Remember the groundwork we did up front though: we created a space where they could be human and real with each other, and where they felt comfortable sharing this.

Conclusion

None of what I talked about in this article happens by accident. It takes intentionality. It takes courage. It takes effort. It takes choosing how your team treats each other daily.

So, when you think about your team: What choices are you making every day? How are these choices shaping your team dynamics? What one choice could you make differently tomorrow?

There is no such thing as a perfect team. But how you react and engage in those imperfect moments — that is what truly defines you as a team.

So today, choose to be a team. Choose to support each other, even when it gets uncomfortable. Choose to clear the air. The breakthroughs waiting on the other side just might surprise you.

If these insights sparked your curiosity and you are ready to explore further, I’m here to guide you. Click here to schedule a discovery call with me. Together, we can tailor a development plan that aligns with your unique leadership style and goals. I look forward to supporting you in your journey to becoming a co-creative leader!